Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My heart is breaking, and it hurts so very very much

My brother-in-law and his wife were expecting their first baby last week. Baby was late, as babies tend to be. Dean Aiden Beaudry was born this morning, but he lived only a couple of hours. My heart hurts. My heart hurts for Brian and Stephanie, for the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins... it just hurts.

It is ripping open some fresh wounds in my own heart of the babies we lost. It does not compare, I know that... but I do find a wee bit consolation that Dean is now playing in heaven with his three cousins!

The chilren are sad. I'm not sure the totally get it, as they didn't see her growing belly, or get to see and hold the new baby. I told them today about the babies that we lost, and that seemed to console them a bit that there were four Beaudry cousins playing in Heaven together. I don't think they get it that the other three cousins would have been their siblings - no, we would NOT have had 6 children!! Just you know, ya know.

So that's al I have to say about that. I'm shedding lots of tears... and hope to get a good nights sleep and waken refreshed tomorrow in spite of the sadness.

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